Kopimatcha Chapter 4 — MISSUNDERSTAND

Table of Contents

After the expo was over, Raga and Hana’s relationship didn’t suddenly turn into something special.

They were still the same.

They still talked from time to time.

They still joked around.

Sometimes, they even talked about things that had nothing to do with the committee anymore.

The only difference was that Hana had started paying more attention to Raga.

And the problem with paying more attention to someone is that you start noticing more and more things about them.

Including their social media.

Raga was pretty active online.

Sometimes he posted pictures from organization activities.

Sometimes campus events.

Sometimes his friends.

And every now and then, his girlfriend.

Hana had known from the beginning that Raga already had a girlfriend.

It wasn’t new information.

But knowing something and seeing it over and over again somehow felt different.

Especially when some of Raga’s stories were posted or even made by his girlfriend.

Pictures of the two of them.

Things they did together.

Little moments that made it obvious that there was already someone in Raga’s life.

At first, Hana just looked.

Then she moved on.

The next day, she saw another one.

And moved on again.

Until one day, for some reason, it started to bother her.

She wasn’t angry.

She wasn’t disappointed either.

At least, that’s what she told herself.

It was just...

a little uncomfortable.

Hana started asking herself questions.

What am I even hoping for?

The question itself annoyed her.

Raga had never promised her anything.

He had never said anything that gave her a reason to hope.

They weren’t even that close.

So if Raga spent time with his girlfriend, what exactly was the problem?

There wasn’t one.

There shouldn’t have been one.

But feelings don’t always care about logic.

Hana started feeling like she was standing in the wrong place.

As if she had gotten too invested in someone who had never even looked her way.

And it felt like...

loving someone alone.

From then on, Hana started changing a little.

Nothing drastic.

She was just more easily annoyed.

Whenever Raga talked about something he had done with his girlfriend, Hana would sometimes give him a short answer.

“Oh.”

Or,

“Yeah.”

Or sometimes, she wouldn’t answer at all.

Raga didn’t really notice the change.

To him, Hana was probably just in a bad mood.

He already knew she could be like that sometimes.

One day, Hana even made a subtle comment.

“Must be nice, always having time for your girlfriend.”

Raga, who didn’t realize she was talking about him, casually replied,

“Depends on the person.”

Hana looked at him.

“Hmm.”

Raga went back to whatever he was doing.

No reaction.

No questions.

Not even the slightest sign that he had caught the meaning behind her words.

And somehow, that only made Hana more annoyed.

Seriously, how can he be this clueless?

Deep down, Hana had hoped Raga would understand.

Maybe ask her what was wrong.

Maybe notice that something had changed.

But Raga did nothing.

Because as far as he knew, there was nothing to suspect.

Hana had never said anything.

And Raga had no idea what was actually going on inside her head.

Eventually, Hana started keeping everything to herself.

She still talked to Raga.

She could still laugh when something was funny.

She still went about her own business.

But a part of her had started pulling away.

The more she saw Raga’s life with his girlfriend, the more she felt that maybe she had simply misunderstood everything from the beginning.

Maybe the little things Raga did were just normal kindness.

Maybe the conversations they had while working on the poster were nothing more than that.

Maybe Hana was the one reading too much into something that had never even existed.

And the more she thought about it, the more foolish she felt.

Because in the end, Raga had never asked Hana to wait for him.

He had never given her hope.

He had never said he would choose her.

So Hana had no right to be disappointed.

But still...

she was.

Not because of Raga.

Maybe she was disappointed in herself.

Because without realizing it, she had started hoping for someone who had never been hers to begin with.

And Raga?

He was still living his life as usual.

Still busy with his organizations.

Still hanging out with his friends.

Still with his girlfriend.

And still completely unaware that somewhere nearby, someone was slowly trying to convince herself to stop hoping.

The two of them were still in the same place.

They could still talk.

They still knew each other.

But they were beginning to see things from completely different sides.

Hana felt like she had already gone too far.

Raga hadn’t even realized they were starting to drift apart.

And maybe that was the problem.

Sometimes, it’s not because someone intentionally hurts us.

Sometimes, it’s simply because they never knew we were hurting in the first place.